Yachiru Strikes! :With Matsumoto:
by sQuIsHeDbRoCcOlLi
Summary: Yachiru returns for the human tradition of Halloween...with Matsumoto. What happens when Hitsugaya-taichou gets dragged in? What does the Soutaichou keep under his bed? Will the Kuchiki Manor ever be the same? Nobody knows, but who cares? -/halloweenfic/-
1. Twas An Afternoon Before

Alright, so as some of you may know, I am abandoning my FF account. To tell the truth, I started it on a whim, and I figure, though I may be interested in writing, I'm not really good at it and thus not many may be interested in my writings. So, here's my last work out to you guys. I gave it more than my all, 'cuz I wanted to go out with a big bang, not a pathetic fizzle. I want to announce it out to you guys, and make sure I make good work of my last piece here, instead of just sticking my epitaph on my profile and wait for poor souls to stumble across it.

Now...since it's my last ever fic, I shall take the time to pimp my goods. Please go to my profile and check out my other fics! (Reviews are also welcomed and appreciated, and are open to the public)

And, on another note, I have moved to DeviantArt; I'm "badlysquished" over there; please visit! I assure you, my art is waaaaay better than my writing,

**DISCLAIMER: I don't and never will own the fandom and its characters for the rest of the story. I own only the retardity and the plot here**

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_Yachiru Strikes! (With Matsumoto)  
Opening Theme: CARNIVAL NIGHT by Arashi_

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The thirty-first of October was approaching, and Kusajishi Yachiru was out of ideas, as well as minions. When such a rarity occured, a trip to the Tenth Division's sofa was never out of the question. Or, to be more precise, a visit to the permanent occupant of the Tenth Division's sofa. Leaping out through one of the many broken windows, the pink-haired explosive squealed. She bounced over the separating fence and through the window of the neighbouring office, shattering the pane in the process. She ricocheted off a diminutive white...something and onto the sofa where there was a loud oof.

'Sake-woman! Up-up-up! IT's coming! Get up~~~'

'Kusajishi-fukutaichou, you would do well to leave my office. NOW.' Ah. So that's what she bounced off.

'Sake-woman! Get up before you die!'

'Kusajishi-fukutaichou, if you do not give me a valid explanation to your current presence here you will be the one dying.'

'Presents? I get presents?' the little girl of the approximate height of a table immediately perked up.

'No. LEAVE.'

'But you said~~' whining always worked with Ken-chan. Pachinko too.

'Take the darn woman and go. OR you file a report on this incident for me.'

Well, maybe it didn't work on some people. There was a short pause as she took the time to weigh her choices.

'Sake-woman! Wake up before I die! Hurry!'

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**cont'd in part 2**

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A/N:  
right. so I decided to turn this into a bunch of short little chapters, kinda like how incandescens does it. they'll be short, but it's all for dramatic and theatric and retardity purposes, so that's fine, right? They kinda work like scene cuts. Now, some of you (I hope all?) realise that this is just one chapter. Where's the rest? Isn't Halloween like, tomorrow? So, firstly, don't panic. Take a deep breath, take your socks back, and recite some Vogon Poetry with some "42"s mixed in. This chapter is a teaser or prologue or whatever you want to call it. The rest is all written up and edited and looked through, and it's all gonna turn up tomorrow, 'kay?

aaaaaand, for those of you who know what Phoenix Wright and Apollo Justice are, I suggest you go read **Order in the Court **by **incandescens**.

erm, and also, here's a list of terms some of you may or may not be familiar with:  
taichou - captain  
fukutaichou - vice-captain/lieutenent  
sake - japanese, highly alcoholic, alcohol drink.

later on I will be using more terms too, so here goes:  
hakama - the pants half of the shihakushou  
senkaimon - the dimension gate  
jigokuchou - hell butterfly/moth  
shunpo - flash step  
shihakushou - shinigami/death god/soul reaper uniform  
taiin - division member, random unseated shinigami


	2. The Kuchiki Basement

Matsumoto Rangiku was forced into consciousness as her head hit the polished wooden floor. She then found herself being dragged to the Kuchiki Manor by someone she recognised as the fukutaichou of the Eleventh Division.

'Ne, 'Chiru, care to explain what you're doing?'

'Sake-woman's becoming more and more like Chibi-kun. Ken-chan says that staying around weird people for too long makes you turn into them.'

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. The kid doesn't know the irony of that statement, does she? 'Whatever. Now, please tell me what the _hell_ we're doing in the basement of the Kuchiki Manor.'

'Well...you remember last year? When me and Ken-chan went around at night to disturb and bully everyone?'

'...Yes.'

'Good. This year, it's tonight, and I want Sake-woman to do it with me.'

'And why isn't Ikkaku or Zaraki-Taichou in charge of that?'

'Cuz they both said they'd puke stuff on me if I bothered them today,' the small girl chirped happily. 'So, I thought that Sake-woman wanted to run away from Chibi-kun and have fun!'

Matsumoto had to admit, Yachiru had put it aptly and accurately; nobody would voluntarily spend the afternoon with Hitsugaya-taichou, let alone in the office with the endless piles of paperwork and his temper. She sighed. 'Alright, I'll join you. So, what's the plan? And,' lowering her voice, she continued. 'Why're we in the Kuchiki basement?'

'For fun!' she squealed. 'Making Byakkun make that funny face every time he sees me in here is fun! Watch me!' without warning, she forcefully burst through the top of the basement and screamed, 'BYAKKUN! I'M HERE!!'

A quick peek showed that the basement was right beneath the room in which a stunned Kuchiki-taichou sat with green tea splashed over his hakama and shock splayed over his face.

Matsumoto winced.

'Oops,' came a sweet sugary voice from above. 'Quick, Sake-woman! He found us! RUN~~~!!'

Kuchiki Byakuya had never seen the duo run so quickly before.

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**cont'd in part 3**

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	3. Brown Water Can Fly

'So, the idea is to go up to people's doors and scare them so bad they pee their pants! Or you can demand candy. Got it?'

Matsumoto nodded morosely. They had fled to the underground drainage system, which Yachiru claimed to know like the back of the hand. The kid also said that she had nineteen knuckles and two fingers on each hand, in an effort to reassure the older fukutaichou that going under was just as safe as going anywhere. Matsumoto found herself almost wanting to go back to the office.

_Almost_

But not quite; The Plan must go on.

'Sake-woman, think of something that will scare lots and lost of people,' the pink-haired child commanded as she seated herself at the edge of the flowing - _oozing? _- brown water and swished her hand around in it.

'Lots of people...right? How about you take that costume you used last year and I can walk around like I am. That should scare quite a number of people,' she mused.

'NO! We can't!' Yachiru screamed. Brown water flew.

Matsumoto winced for the second time that day.

A rare moment of silence passed between the two as both contemplated extensively. Soifon would have applauded the brainwork had she been there.

Unfortunately, she was not.

Moments passed before anyone said anything else.

'Ne, 'Chiru, I just thought of something that might just scare heaps and heaps of people.'

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**cont'd in part 4**

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	4. The Plan of No Plan

A quick trip to the Transient World, Urahara Shouten to be precise, for raw materials was where the duo spent the evening. The afternoon was spent trying to get out of the sewage system.

In such a race against time, not employing Urahara Kisuke was called Being Brainless. Severe Bribary was brought into play and eventually the man agreed to help at the cost of half the loot. The deal was sealed quickly; the evil duo would figure a way out of it when the time came. We live in the here and now.

Before dark, the three had managed to churn out a scruffy set of butterfly wings and a big white box. All had to admit it was better-looking than the sake bottle from last year; all except a certain Madarame Ikkaku.

'So,' the be-hatted shopkeeper smiled, 'what are you planning to do with these?' He gestured at the two products of the evening.

'Ah, that's a secret,' Matsumoto smiled back. 'If you really, _really_ want to know, you could just forfeit your payment.'

That shut him up rather well. Yachiru grabbed the stuff and jumped up. 'Let's go! IT'S HULLOWIN!'

'"Halloween", 'Chiru. Go get a few phonics lessons first.'

'Hullowin,' Yachiru supplied promptly. 'That's how you say it. Icchy told me.'

'No, it's -'

'NO! Icchy _told _me! That's how you say it!' Several unfortunate items flew across the room in her uncontrolled reiatsu.

Urahara nervously reached for the teapot where his hat had landed.

Matsumoto hurriedly regained her dignity as she rearranged the front of her shihakushou. ''Chiru, do we need a plan? Or should we just randomly ambush random people?'

Changing the topic; always works.

With Momo, at least.

Yachiru pouted. 'Of course we need a plan! You can't rush into Hullowin without a plan! So, our plan is to go in, and find people to scare. We knock on people's doors and demand candy. Um...oh yeah! We just go up to anyone we see first, or any house we see first!'

Matsumoto sighed. 'Yes, that's a wonderful plan.'

'YAY!! Go go Sake-woman! We have a Gotei 13 to storm.'

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**cont'd in part 5**

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	5. We're Off!

Persuading Kusajishi Yachiru to wait was never an easy task. Matsumoto didn't even know why she was trying.

But then again, arriving in Seireitei only after the sun set was essential when it came to sneaking around the place in a big white box and butterfly wings. So, she was trying. At any rate her efforts would delay their take-off.

--

Delayed their little expedition was. The fukutaichou of the Tenth Division had fed the short pink-haired kid an entire bottle of sake. Needless to say, they left reasonably (unreasonably?) late. At any rate, the sky was black, and Urahara was sleeping. The clock also told them it was approximately one in the morning. They then left through the senkaimon as a black butterfly and a big, walking white box.

_Flashback:_

_A wildly hiccupping Yachiru demanded for more sake as she chugged her third cup. 'More magic water, Sake-woman! Oh, and, find somewhere to go first,' she exclaimed, completely disregarding her previously, carefully-outlined, flawless plan, or lack thereof. _

_'Alright,' Matsumoto agreed while pouring another glass of the stuff. 'We get to go harrass Taichou first, then if we're lucky we get to drag him around for the party! And, if he doesn't want to, we can just get more magic water from the office and move on.'_

_'YAY!' she cried, before looking around with a bewildered look on her face. 'More magic water? Pleasie?'_

_-end flashback-_

With a hop, skip and a jump (and a waddle) the butterfly and the box headed towards the Tenth Division.

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**cont'd in part 6**

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	6. You're On

'TAICHOU~~~!'

'CHIBI-KUU~~N!'

'WHAT THE _HELL_ ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING? It's one in the morning!'

'Exactly what _I_ want to ask you. It's one in the morning and you're _still_ doing the paperwork?'

'I would have gone hours ago if you happened to be around, but nooooo, _you_ were-' he paused. 'Where _were_ you, and why the hell are you in a big white box with Kusajishi-fukutaichou fluttering around at your side?'

'Well, erm,' Matsumoto fidgeted. How was she supposed to explain this to a crabby 4'4"...monster?

'It's called Hullowin, Chibi-kun. We dress up and scare suckers into wetting their pants and giving us candy!'

A vein popped. 'And how, pray tell, is a white box and a glittering butterfly supposed to "scare" me into "wetting" my pants and then convince me to give out non-existant candy?'

'Well...' Matsumoto attempted. 'I am a big stack of untouched paperwork, And 'Chiru has an introduction to do.'

'YAY!! I am a big, big jigokuchou from the soutaichou, and he's telling you to do the paperwork by tomorrow!'

Large turquoise eyes narrowed. 'Well, Matsumoto, you should be quite familiar with the phrase "the paperwork does itself", aren't you? Well, you should be since you coined it yourself and tried to copyright it and everything...So while you're at this silly game of yours, take this and live out your little prophecy,' he thrust a large stack of paperwork in the general direction of Matsumoto.

The taller of the two fukutaichous balked, but quickly regained her composure. 'Fine,' she agreed smoothly, 'but only if you collect as much, or even more candy than the both of us combined.'

A scarily wicked grin spread across the features of the short taichou. 'You're on. See you at sunrise.'

And suddenly, Matsumoto was afraid.

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**cont'd in part 7**

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	7. Andy

After the rather intimidating incident in the Tenth Division office, the duo ridded themselves of the strange getup and snagged some sake. Matsumoto sighed. 'Ne, 'Chiru, now we have to think of a new self-introduction instead, since we're not the big stack of untouched paperwork and the menacing jigokuchou.'

'Right. How 'bout "hand over the candy or we chew your head off"? Or "your candy or your head", or "hand it over, suckers" or-'

'No, that's enough.' She would have a little chat with Zaraki-taichou sooner or later when she mustered up the guts. 'We can use all of them, but not at the same time, okay?'

'OKAY! How 'bout "drunkards or your innards"? Or "bad breath or treat"? Or-'

'No. Stop. Calm down. Walk.'

''Kay. Where next?'

'Just wander aimlessly; someone's bound to appear.'

'You mean like magic?'

'No, not like magic; not that kind of appear.'

Hisagi Shuuhei shunpo'd right in front of the two at that exact moment.

'SAKE-WOMAN! You lied to me!'

'Never mind about that, 'Chiru. Now, do what you normally do.' Matsumoto sighed. Yachiru sprung into the air and latched herself by the teeth to Hisagi's head.

'ANDY!'

'Who's Andy? And get off my head!'

'IMME ANDY OW!!'

Matsumoto glared at her fellow fukutaichou. 'Do it. Now.'

'I don't know any Andy,' Hisagi looked ready to explode.

'Give us the loot, or we give you the boot.'

'DRUNKARDS OR YOUR INNARDS!!'

'Stop rhyming! And can you let go before I get perforated?'

Matsumoto sighed. 'What we mean, Shuuhei, is hand over the candy or loot or whatever it is you have before you get hurt.' The man frowned before digging one hand into his shihakushou, pulling out a few slips of crumpled paper.

'This do?' he mumbled. 'It's discounts at the bar,' looking morosely at his hand as the paper was snatched away. The little monster finally let go, and Hisagi ran his fingers across his scalp, checking for newly-made impurities.

'Happy Hullowin, Shoe-sock!' squealed Yachiru as she skipped happily away with Matsumoto, leaving a very stunned Hisagi looking very lost.

'...Shoe...sock? What kind of new nickname is that?'

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**cont'd in part 8**

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	8. The Other Side of the Door

The two sped away with incredible speed and demonic cackling, not once pausing to wonder why Hisagi Shuuhei was wandering around the streets at the unearthly hour it was. They headed towards to Thirteenth Division; Matsumoto's knuckles were less than a centimetre away from the door when a panicked Kotetsu Kiyone pounced on them.

'Matsumoto-fukutaichou! Kusajishi-fukutaichou! Ukitake-taichou is sleeping, so you'd better not disturb him.'

Sentarou appeared next to her and elbowed the young girl in the ribs. 'Stupid kid. Look, I'm the one in charge here when the Taichou isn't present-'

'Present? We get a present??' Yachiru glowed and bounced.

'NO,' Sentarou nearly shouted. 'So, is there anything you want from the thirteenth division?'

'Yes. We would like your stock of candy,' Matsumoto replied firmly without missing a beat.

Kiyone balked. 'You may like it and all, but you may not have it. That is up to Taichou's discretion to give it out, and Taichou is currently...' she stole a glance to the door. 'Unable to be grace our gathering with his presence.'

'Presents?'

'NO! Shut up and calm down!' SMACK. 'Erm, my deepest apologies for my behaviour, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, Miss. Please leave the Thirteenth Division grounds now'

And, rather empty-handed, the two higher-ranked officers trudged dejectedly out of the well-trimmed garden.

On the other side of the door, a certain white-haired Taichou who was supposedly asleep, chuckled as a jigokuchou fluttered out of his room.

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**cont'd in part 9**

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	9. Hidden Trapdoors

After the epic failure in the Thirteenth Division garden, Yachiru decided that revisiting the Kuchiki manor was not such a bad idea after all.

Entering the same way as the previous year, the pair broke countless numbers of shoji with a small tree they'd wrenched from the garden before finally stumbling upon the sleeping form of the Sixth Division Taichou.

'BYAKKUN! WAKE UP!' she threw the (broken bits of the) tree towards to futon. 'CANDY! NOW!' the young fukutaichou demanded.

There was a mumble from the futon about the tree and his garden. He sat up and stared ahead, past the disastrous duo and out of his torn and smashed shoji. 'Byakkun? You alright down there?'

An icy glare that could compare with that of Unohana-taichou found its way to the diminutive fukutaichou with pink hair. However, like many other things, it failed to faze her. 'You got candy, right?'

Another glare.

Matsumoto decided to help her little partner-in-crime. 'Kuchiki-taichou, we advise you hand the candy over before your garden suffers any more damage.'

'Fine. Exit this room, walk straight, turn left, then right, then left again, and left two more times, then walk to the end of the corridor and turn right.'

'Byakkun's telling fibs! That goes outside! If Byakkun wanted to go outside he could just take a secret Yachiru-passage that opens here!' she squatted down and wrenched a trapdoor directly under the futon open, tossing a hapless Kuchiki Byakuya and his futon to the side.

'Ooooh. So that's Byakkun's secret stash of candies! I knew everyone has one. I bet even Beardy-lady has one! Let's go, Sake-woman!'

They took off, leaving a sleepy, robbed Kuchiki Byakuya hoping it was all just a nightmare that you saw so often in primary school essays.

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**cont'd in part 10**

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	10. Corridors

With the just first loot of the day, Matsumoto and Yachiru were rather happy. After all, it isn't often you get to break into the Kuchiki Manor without getting told off, not to mention make off with some sugar-based goodies.

They then entered the Fifth Division barracks which was conveniently on the way to the Soutaichou's quarters.

'Someone!! Anyone!!' Yachiru cried out as they strolled through the empty corridors. She walked up to a door and slammed her small fist multiple times into the wood. 'Ya got candy??'

The door that was being abused was opened and Yachiru fell comically into the room with a crash and a howl. The sleepy occupant then tripped over the new addition in her room and went down with a crash and an ouchie.

Yachiru sprung up excitedly. 'Momo-Jojo! Get up! Can I have candy! Sake-woman too,' she turned wildly. 'Hmm...Where did Sake-woman go? Do ya know? Hm, hm, hm? Can I have candy?'

Meanwhile, down another corridor of the barracks, Matsumoto confronted the head honcho of the division. 'Erm...Good..morning?' she offered brightly.

'Good...morning to you too, Matsumoto-san,' the glasses-toting Taichou of the Fifth Division replied, glancing around and wondering whether it was morning or night. 'Is there a reason as to your presence here?'

A distant cry or "Presents? WHERE??" resounded through the barracks as Matsumoto weighed her options. She could always say _no, I'm just baby-sitting Yachiru-chan for the Eleventh Division, have you seen her? _and walk away, or she could risk her life and go _actually, yes. Do you have any candy that 'Chiru and I can share?_

'Um, actually, yes. Do you have any candy that 'Chiru- oops. Yachiru-chan and I can share?'

Unexpectedly, the brown-haired Taichou smiled jovially before producing a bag of marshmallows from a cupboard. 'Here you go; and happy candy-hunting!' Aizen-taichou turned and tossed a casual wave in Matsumoto's direction ad he walked off.

It was then that a certain pink-haired bundle of pain and sugar came bounding down the hallways screaming, 'Sake-woman! Show up! Momo-Jojo gave me candy! We get two big lollies today!' She blasted past several sleepy taiin of the Fifth Division who poked their heads out of their doorways, and then hurtled straight into Matsumoto's legs. 'Oh, there you are,' she exclaimed somewhat soberly. 'Let's go!'

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**cont'd in part 11**

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	11. Under the Bed

Stashing the loot into the Mysterious Sleeves Of Wonder that were built into the shihakushou, Matsumoto and Yachiru fled towards the First Division. Crashing through the well-trimmed shrubbery, they stumbled to a halt at the locked door.

'Now what?' the well-endowed Fukutaichou of the Tenth Division asked flatly.

'The window!' Yachiru pointed and bounced happily. Without any warning, she bounced through the window with a thump that was closely followed by a 'Yama-jii! Ya got candy?'

Matsumoto smacked the heel of her palm to her forehead. A small head poked out of the shattered window and chirped, 'Leave this to me, Sake-woman! Hold the candy!' and the Kuchiki stash dropped dangerously from a few metres up.

The large bag of candy was saved by a particularly pretty-looking bush. Needless to say, it never was quite as pretty once Matsumoto had riffled through every single leaf for the candy. It was only moments later that a shouting match rocked the barracks to its foundations. It went somewhere along the lines of I'm sorry but I am not permitted to allow entrance to the Soutaichou's private quarters No you listen to me and gimme candy now and lemme in. Crashes ensued, one of which Matsumoto was sure was a reinforced door falling off its hinges.

Squeaks and giggles drifted out of an open window followed by a muffled 'What are you doing, Kusajishi-fukutaichou?'

'Looking for Yama-jii's secret stash! Maybe it's under the bed, just like Byakkun's...'

'Stop it! No! I'll give you the candy! There's nothing under my bed!'

'Hmm...except for funny magazines with women wearing underwear?'

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**cont'd in part 12**

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	12. Planting of Evidence

After some successful pillaging in Yama-jii's cupboard, Yachiru left to find her companion. 'Sake-woman! We get candy! And Yama-jii's secret magazines!' she screamed as a gnarled hand tossed her out of an open window. She plummeted the entire three storeys down to the garden that cushioned her fall with a big bush. The diminutive figure came crashing out of the rather trashed shrubbery waving indecent magazines excitedly in the air.

Squealing, they sprinted to the Ninth Division's Taichou's quarters. Quickly locating the window, Matsumoto hoisted Yachiru onto her shoulders. The small, hyperactive girl leaped into the room, indecent magazines held in hand. A considerable amount of shuffling was heard before she propelled herself, empty-handed, once again out of a window and once more into a rather pretty bush that was ruined after that little escapade.

'What did you do with them?' Matsumoto had pillaged before, but never had she reversed the process.

Yachiru smiled her innocent child-like smile. 'Under the bed, just like where Yama-jii keeps them!'

'Right. Let's go! Twelfth Division, go go go!'

With the increasing amount of loot, both edible and otherwise, the two couldn't be stopped; not with the sun due to make an appearance in an hour or so.

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**cont'd in part 13**

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_A/N: _now, just a note for those of you who don't remember, about six or seven chapters ago Matsumoto agreed that she, Yachiru and Hitsugaya would compile and compare loot at sunrise, thus the importance. Remember, Matsumoto's life depends on it!


	13. Something Went Boom

One step into the Twelfth Division and the big ominous machine that came together with it told whatever common sense Matsumoto had left in her to leave. Now. However, her survival instincts, added together with Yachiru's excitement, energy and enthusiasm had her bounding through like it was her home.

''Chiru, what're you doing?' the Fukutaichou of the Tenth Division called out as Yachiru bounced off different edges of the room and its objects.

'Finding Poo-face,' she replied coolly and matter-of-factly. 'There's gotta be a call-button somewhere here...' she mused as she peered around the surfaces and vertices of the odd machine, prodding it wherever she saw fit. 'I wonder where it is...'

She pointed a stubby finger at a small red button. 'That's gotta work!' she suggested to herself brightly, pushing it with all the force she had in that little finger.

Matsumoto didn't know why on earth didn't she stop the little cretin. A part of herself reminded her it was because she herself had been vaguely curious and amused about the outcome. When the big thing imploded in a puff of violent purple smoke, she found herself beyond amused. It was the distant crashes and screaming from somewhere else that unnerved the undignified Matsumoto Rangiku.

There was also this unmistakeably voice of Kurotsuchi Mayuri, most likely the owner and creator of the thing that just vaporised, ululating like a fire engine in labour.

It was getting closer and closer, and Matsumoto was laughing out of sheer hysteria and amusement. Survival instincts told her to run for her life, but idiocy and a longing for good entertainment kept her firmly rooted in place; the latter slapped the former away with a retort about having nine lives and not having to worry.

A small pinkish figure popped up, with much force, under the still-shrieking Kurotsuchi-taichou, causing the poor man to topple over. Yachiru immediately took advantage of the amusing situation and planted herself atop Mayuri. 'Poo-face, I want candy. Heaps of it. Sake-woman too. Give us lots and lots, and then we won't come back next year.'

The disgusted man pushed the tyrant off his midsection and threw his secret stash of sugar confectionaries, as well as his infamous temper, in Yachiru's direction.

Grabbing the loot, Yachiru and Matsumoto bolted out of the smoking building, heading for the Tenth Division office just as the clouds gained the slightest tinge of orange.

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**concluded in part 14**

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	14. Final Score

'We're BAAAAAAAACK!! Chibi-kun? Where's your stash?' the hyperactive ball of frustration pelted herself through the window and crashed into a bookshelf.

A quick hundred-eighty told Hitsugaya that Yachiru had flown in through the window and Matsumoto was hefting her leg up through the open window. It was _so_ tempting to just stand up and shut the window, but that would mean that he would be stuck in the room with that little...monster. Knowing her...it, she/it would never leave spontaneously through the door like a normal person.

Of course, normal people didn't challenge each other on the eventual amount of sugar-based poisons one would collect in five hours.

_Oh gods. No. Nonononono. What the hell have I done?_

As a certain prodigy's brain reeled in the various expletives flying across the room, two others were occupying his sofa happily counting candy. 'Ne, Taichou! Where did you put your stash?'

Hitsugaya waved a hand in the vague direction of the small storage room in the corner, pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead in an attempt to alleviete the growing headache known as Matsumoto Rangiku and Kusajishi Yachiru. If he fired Matsumoto, that would be half the headache gone, his common sense reminded him.

If he'd just left the two idiots alone when they'd barged in five and a half hours ago, he'd probably still have his sanity.

A shout snapped Hitsugaya's ink-stained forehead off the half-done paperwork. 'Taichou! Where did all this come from?'

Anyone looking through the window would have been treated to the sight of two unknown shinigami being devoured by a tsunami of sugar products. There was a muffled sound of someone stuffing things into her own mouth.

'Ukitake-taichou,' came the monotonous reply as Matsumoto extricated herself from the mess of unknown substances that rushed out of the storage room. 'I sent him a message this morning.' A large stack of paperwork was shoved unceremoniously into her face.

'Dammit, Taichou. What am I going to do with so much paperwork?'

An eyebrow raised. 'You could do it,' he suggested dully. 'I won, didn't I?'

The short Taichou of the Tenth Division stood up (not that it made any difference to his height from when he was sitting) and stood amidst the mess his office was in. 'Dammit. What am I going to do with so much candy?'

Matsumoto smiled. 'You could eat it.'

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_Yachiru Strikes! (With Matsumoto)  
Ending Theme: It's all too much by YUI_

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_A/N: _yay, it's done! I thoroughly enjoyed writing the craziness of Yachiru and Matsumoto together; and yay shiroconspiration! please review and tell me what you think


	15. Omake

**_A/N:_** alrighty. here's the omake, which I will first warn you, will follow the format of the Bleach episode omake, meaning the first one is purely audio, while the second one will have visual, which means it will be in story form. Just read on, and you should be able to get it.

* * *

**-  
Part I  
-**

Tousen Kaname: Hisagi, do you have any idea what this is? I found it under my bed this morning.

Hisagi Shuuhei: ...Taichou, um...

Tousen Kaname: Yes? Speak.

Hisagi Shuuhei: You may want to dispose of it in a discreet manner, Sir.

Tousen Kaname: Hisagi-fukutaichou, you are defying direct orders.

Hisagi Shuuhei: Um, Sir, I would like to first state that this has nothing to do with me, and...

Tousen Kaname: And?

Hisagi Shuuhei: And that magazine you are holding has indecent photographs of women in... their undergarments.

Tousen Kaname: WHAAAAAAT???

Kusajishi Yachiru/Matsumoto Rangiku: Yay! It worked! Big success! Sake tonight!!

* * *

**-  
Part II  
-**

Urahara Kisuke was standing, all dignity abandoned, in the women's washroom, outside one particular cubicle that had, according to Hitsugaya-taichou, been locked for the past day or so. 'Rangiku-saaaan!' he wailed as all passing female shinigami stared on in either disgust, amusement, or both. He hammered on the door for extra effect.

'I know you're in there! Where are my wages? You promised me half the loot!' he wailed in anguish.

There was a high-pitched giggle as the toilet flushed once again. 'Sake-woman! It went down!' Another giggle. 'Let's do it again!'

'Okay!'

Urahara pulled a face. 'Ladies? Ladies, are you listening to me?' he cried out desperately.

'Ohh, Kisuke-jii, you're here!' Matsumoto's voice floated out above the swishing of the toilet water. 'Whaddya want?'

'My wages,' he demanded. 'Where are my wages. Half the loot; you promised,' he moaned pitifully.

'Oh,' came the obnoxious feminine voice once again. The toilet swished and gurgled as the water was sucked down for a millionth time, accompanied by a giggle. 'Whoops. We kind of...ate it all up.'

Yachiru burped. It resounded throughout the small enclosed area and everyone gagged. The stench of sake and sugar was apparent.

Urahara sank slowly to his knees as he sobbed against the pink wall.

Behind him, Matsumoto and Yachiru were making a large mess. 'Ne, 'Chiru, did you throw out all the toilet paper?'

'Yep! Can we jump now?'

'Okay!' A pair of hands hefted the girl out of the ventilation window before the owner of said hands stepped onto the toilet bowl. In a very unladylike manner, she hefted herself out of the window, big bag of candies in hand.

Urahara gaped wordlessly as the two females made their getaway, with his wages.

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**end**

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thank you for making it to the end, please review!

and, goodbye, to everyone here on FFnet.


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